Saving Face

The other day I found myself in a taxi on the way to pick up my girlfriend. It was raining heavily and a we were on the way to the Zhuhai North light rail station. I knew the taxi was a little grimy inside and the driver was smoking a cigarette, so I thought I should dump it before picking her up. At first I thought, “maybe I should tell him a lie to make a stop somewhere so that I can politely switch taxis. After all, this is China and this kind of excuse should be common to save the other person’s (the driver’s) face.”

I texted my girlfriend to call me and ask me to stop somewhere in order to make the deceit believable. Her reply was something like “What are you talking about?” She was confused, at first and didn’t go along with the plot.

After I managed to find a good enough “reason” why I needed to get out early, I called her and said, “Why didn’t you go along with my fib?”

“Why did you need to lie to the driver? Just tell him you want to get out sooner.” Basically, I shouldn’t have worried about telling him the truth. Why? Because he was a stranger and we don’t have to worry about hurting the feelings of strangers by being direct.

What she was telling me was a mini-breakthrough for me here. It seems that in Chinese logic, the only people you should fib or make false-excuses to are your friends. They could be hurt by the truth and you need to protect them from it, sometimes. This is also the prime reason why Westerners think Chinese people are “liers”, but in reality this dishonesty is appropriate among friends, colleagues, etc.

When you get an invitation to do something, but you don’t want to go, you just say: “I have something else to do” or “I’m in another city right now.” When you don’t want to talk to someone in particular on the phone next to your friends, you just say “I’ve got a bad signal in here” then excuse yourself from the room. When you don’t want to drink alcohol, you say “I’m allergic to alcohol.” And if you don’t like someone’s idea, you should still agree with it or “consider it”.

The above are all common fibs that are used in daily life in China. They are meant to be polite, but they demonstrate a great divide between Eastern and Western cultures. We have white lies in the West, but we don’t use them nearly as often as they are used here. White lies are often used among friends and families in the West too. (Honey, your new haircut is beautiful!)

My mother remembers all of this as the “Mexico-Canada” fib that the Vietnamese owner of a local Asian market used once. We asked where the produce came from in his store. He said “Canada”, but when we looked on the box “Mexico” was checked off. I said, “but your box comes from Mexico.” He said, “yea, Mexico-Canada” as if Mexico were some kind of city in the Hispanic quarter of Canada.

Sometimes the fibs are funny; sometimes they are greatly misleading, but as long as you recognize that they exist you are one step closer to succeeding out here. The most important thing to remember when you detect this kind of dishonesty is to not react. The moment you challenge any of these fibs as bullshit, you will create an awkward situation… and that is a big no-no. Quietly accepting a fib is 100x better than trying to extract truth from the fiber.

Please share your funny Fibs with AL.ME!

Maybe I avoided it because it was so Cantonese and I missed the Mandarin world a little. Making soup (煲汤) and Morning Tea (早茶) are very Cantonese and have slowly found their place among my all-time favorite Chinese weekend activities. Now, or when I’m ready to move on, they will join me as I explore the rest of China (and the USA).

Soup Ingredients

The one thing that worries me though, is that there are two ingredients that might not be available back home. One is fresh bamboo shoots and the other is fresh water chestnuts. Both must not come from a can… or else the whole thing is ruined, I think.

Stuff to Prepare: (see pic)
a large peeled, sliced carrot.
a fist-sized red onion, sliced.
a fist-sized potato cut into bite-sized chunks.
a full ear of corn, cut into 4 or 5 sections.
a “ham hock” or soup bone which has some meat and a lot of marrow. (Ask your butcher)
5-6 fresh water chestnuts, cut into halves or quarters depending on size.
3-4  fresh bamboo shoots, sliced in half.
salt.

1~  First prepare everything as you see in the pic above. It’s vital that everything is prepped in advance because all you have to do is throw everything in together!

2~ Take the chopped up ham hock chunks and pre-boil them for about 5 minutes. This cleans out the meat and keeps the soup free from some sneaky bugs… at least this is the typical way it is prepared in Guangdong.

Boiling Bones

3~ You’ll need a soup pot like the one in the picture, so visit an Asian market (or increasingly any Dollar Store) to buy a cheap one. They cost about $4 in China. Fill 3/4 with drinkable water.

4~ When the meat is pre-boiled, drain the gunky water out and drop the meat into the soup pot. This will become our stock and leave some tasty meat chunks to eat between mouth-fulls of veges!

5~ You can put all of the ingredients in at the same time if you want. They will boil together for about 30-45 minutes at least. Then make sure to pour in salt to taste. Don’t start with too much! (See pic)

I usually let the soup simmer after 45 minutes. It can stay simmering for hours if you want. If you want to keep the soup for later, just leave it on the stove top. You should put the leftover soup in containers and leave them in the refrigerator if you indeed to eat some the next day.

Salt to Taste!

Enjoy this traditional, very easy to make soup!

Click here to find your nearest Asian Market

Most cities with at least 50,000 people in America are bound to have some kind of Asian market. It might be Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Thai, Vietnamese, or any other Asian nationality. That shouldn’t be a problem because all Asian food is awesome!

The map to the right will help you find your closest Asian food market. Just keep clicking in the area of your city or town to eventually find it! If you are good with Google, you could substitute “usa” with “[your town]” to search faster.

I will make a printable list of ingredients that are common in the recipes found on AsianLiving.me so that you can take it with you to the market. If you are interested, please sign up for Healthy Living Tips and you’ll be notified as soon as it is ready! Enjoy!

Japanese wok

So, when I cook in China, I use a simple wok that cost about $5 at the local supermarket. Maybe your local Asian market has this kind… If not, just find something black that is curved all the way down to the center/middle. There shouldn’t be any wide-flatness to it. It shouldn’t look like a big “V” either… I’ll upload a photo of a common wok later.

There is no science to using a wok. It’s just like another pan in your kitchen. Use it to cook various simple recipes in this blog and find new ways to cook foods you already eat a lot (like eggs). Get yourself a metal spatula too. “Teflon” isn’t really important either. It’s an expensive alternative that takes 1 minute off of clean-up time, but won’t make food taste any better.

Remember: Many of the “poorest” people in the world are eating healthier than many of the “richest” people in the world.